"No turn is a wrong turn"
Do Foreigners Understand Me When I
Speak Plain English?
On the lighter side for a quick and easy read, here’s something to think about as we travel to non-English speaking
countries of the world, or as we host visitors from these lands.
It’s short and sweet, but will serve as a mindset to independent traveling for an upcoming column with more on
“understanding foreign languages of others, from facial and body language to verbal language when meeting a foreign
Amerikaner.” This is why we smile when they frown, shrug our shoulders, and let our faces mirror and communicate
when our mouths cannot.
Now the quick and easy part, I “stole” this from an author unknown. It was sent to my wife and me via the wonderful
www and it sends a simple but honest message.
A few good reasons why American English has been rated the most difficult language to learn.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he decided it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with the planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing a tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
Is English bewildering? How about these paradoxes:
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is
it a pig.
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, yet a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Yes, in American English, your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill out a form by filling it in, and an
alarm goes off by going on.
Why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Now that you have a little better idea of some American English through the ears of foreign language speakers,
you can begin to understand their confusion if you try to communicate in English without choosing your words carefully
and speaking slowly.
Soon, a good, simple “how to communicate out of America” column that’s been proven time and again, and well learned
as taught by my Grandmother whose strong dictums to “correctly pronunciate and enunciate” continued through three
generations and continues in our family today, with a few Bavarian mores to flavor the communication process.
Have fun...travel in safety...and Damn the Euro vs Dollar rate.....Plan Your Travels With Resolve!
Happy Travels
